I did it

I put my foot down and cancelled all of my online dating site subscriptions today. It's a decision I have been flip-flopping in my mind for quiet some time now. Dating is hard enough without being virtually dumped and to be honest, I don't know if I would ever go so far as to actually meet someone I met off line. I know people who have, heck that's how my best friend found her husband, but honestly, it's not my cup of tea.

I would much rather have that nice face to face relationship that's not over the world wide web. In a perfect world, he'd be my friend. It would be so much easier to find someone I already know. I'm not saying that I couldn't make friends online, I just feel in my heart that it is truly not the place I will find my husband. I honestly feel that God has another calling for me. I will find my future husband another way, the "old fashioned" way. Hopefully he'll even be from my small town of Lancaster, Pa. It would be sooooooo much easier.

Plus given my past relationship I'm truly not ready to open up and let down my walls for anyone now, especially not someone online. Some hurtful things were sad to me in my last relationship and I'm extremely afraid of it happening again. Afterwards I felt like crap and I'm no where near strong enough to be hurt like that again. My heart couldn't take it. It's much easier not to talk about the past and burrow in my little hole then tell anyone how I truly feel in the aftermath. I pray for a strong future husband because he will have some massive brick walls to knock over. But I look forward to the day he does and letting someone else know and that they will love me anyway. Love is a very nice thought. For now, I think I'll just go on loving God, my family, friends and baseball, I don't get hurt there.

I'm going to stay on Catholicmatch.com simply because it is a great network for young adult Catholics and I've made friends on it. I feel like this is the best choice for me and so I blogged lol.

In other news, this weekend was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Totally amazing, go to my facebook page to see all the pictures lol. It was a blast and a must needed trip, but now I am depressed. I don't know what to do with myself for the next 183 days... I think I'll make an Orioles scrapbook lol.

I don't know, it's difficult, truly it is. I love a baseball team and the end of season sucks case closed. I know few feel the same as me, but until I adjust to know watching a game every night at 7pm, I'll be sad. So if anyone wants to do something on a week night, or weekend or really any time, call or text me, PLEASE.