Puppet on a String...

Or so this is how I feel... everyday constantly doing what everyone wants of me, listening and trying to make everyone else happy but myself. I'm tired. I have a knot in my neck and a headache too. I focus so much on making sure that everyone else is happy that I never take the time to do much for myself. I feel like a puppet who is passed from hand to hand and they make me dance, or fall or whatever may be amusing to them, they laugh and pass me along to the next person in line, almost like I'm a circus freak or something. Maybe I wouldn't go that far... but still.

Sitting at work today, I can't help but wonder if I actually did miss my true calling for a career. I love my job, the people I work with, the patients and all, but can I really see myself at that desk for the rest of my life? No. I really don't see much room for advancing and September 12 will be 1 year since I started. I see myself once again getting comfortable, like at Darrenkamps and not fully expanding my wings and soaring into the great unknown. It's strange. I know that if I am at that job forever, I would come home from work and complain to my husband.

I want one of those jobs that you wake up every morning ready for the day and excited. Is teaching that vocation for me? Who knows, I'm testing the waters though. I am teaching 4th grade CCD this year, I get to teach the 10 Commandments :-D very excited!! I have a lot to read and will be doing some research, because I am sure that many children will have questions. It's going to be exciting and once again I'm doing one of my goals for this 23rd year of my life, I'm doing something that scares me. Alone in a room full of 4th graders, I'm afraid of not teaching them properly. I have faith though that God will give me the answers I need.

Hershey Park yesterday was a blast. It was our 3rd annual trip and I can totally see my group of friends and I still doing this when we are 40. We really are big kids at heart. I love them all and miss hanging out with them on a regular basis... I guess that comes with getting older and having more responsiblities. I want to go back up again this summer though, we didn't get to do any of the water park, it was actually too cold, can you believe it?? Too cold on July 22?? Who knew??

Anyway, if anyone is interested in going up, let me know. I can get discounted tickets :-D

Has anyone ever noticed how music can have such healing powers?? When I get upset and stressed at work, I put my headphones on, put it on shuffle and search for the perfect song to help melt my stress away, today it was Josh Groban's "You Are Loved" *sigh* what a voice. I have quiet the mix of 70's, 80's, 90's music, country music, worship music, disney music and of course broadway. I never know what song will help, but the perfect one always seems to find me (I would hope with over 400 songs on my mp3, I'd at least find one perfect song lol). Anyway, I feel better now after all this, looking forward to the weekend. God is so good.

Love you all,

Kelly