No more

So yesterday I believe I threw myself a little bit of a pity party... as is sometimes just what a girl does... but I don't want anymore of those.

Last night I could not fall asleep for the life of me, the hours slowly ticked away, and I swear, it's always when you know you have to get up insanely early the next day that you tend to not sleep, but as every hour passed and sleep still had not come, I kept praying to God for strength. I knew I had a rough day ahead of me, Tuesday's in my office are CRAZY! lots of doctors and lots of patients, but it was okay. I made it through the day with a suprising amount of energy which is really something given the fact that I only had 4 hours of sleep.

A little while ago fellow employees and I had come across an old calender, you know one of those for every day and it has different Bible verses and other quotes about faith. It always suprises me to know end how much the go with the day I've been having.

For example, take yesterday and how I was feeling sorry for myself and what not. Today, I came into work and low and behold, this was my quote:

"When a person is at his wits end it is not a cowardly thing to pray. It is the only way to get in touch with reality" Oswald Chambers. Pretty cool I'd say.

I drive a car that does not have a working radio. I have a 20-30 minute drive to work everyday and it is especially hard to be alone with your thoughts after a rough day at the office. However, I have taken it to be peaceful and have used it as additional time to spend talking with God. I was never one of those people who blared her music because I value my hearing, but I am one that enjoys "jamming" out (as Nikki would say) every now and then. I have found a lot of peace though in the quiet time with God, I never would have thought of it either if it wouldn't have been for the speakers rotting lol, God works in mysterious ways.

I'm having one of those random thought days. Have you ever seen the movie White Christmas? (If not, you should, makes me cry like a baby), anyway, there is this one song in it that my Nana use to sing called "Count your blessings". I was thinking about that song today and who knows maybe it was a way of my Nana reaching me and helping me out of my "pity party". The song's chours goes, "If you get lonely and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep, and you'll fall to sleep, counting your blessings." And it hit me like a train today at work, as much as my job can be stressful and my personal life can drive me crazy, I am an extremely blessed person. I have a good job, with good employees and I actually get to help people and can put smiles on their faces in the moments of pain, I have the most amazing, wonderful, closely knit family anyone could ever ask for. I know that no matter what I can call up any Aunt, Uncle, cousin, no matter how "far removed" they may be (as laymen sp? terms puts it, my second cousin twice removed) or how "great" (again "great aunt) they may be because my mom and nana raised me to know and love my entirely HUGE family :-D and last but not least, my AMAZING friends who are actually more like family. I have a roof over my head (which use to belong to my grandparents) and the most wonderful dog in the world.

Life is pretty good and my conversation has come full circle. and lastly, I just want to say, that I really miss my Nana. It's hard having a birthday and not getting your annual card from your Nana. She was one of my rocks and really helped me to become the Catholic I am today, and some days it's really hard. Today is one of those days. I miss just being able to call her on the phone. She was awesome. I love her very much. Miss you Nana.