I currently find myself in a place where I feel that I am in a constant state of search, like a fork in the road or something, I dunno what it is but I'm out there looking for it. Part of me feels like it would be a man. I have a strong desire to get married and even have a wonderful man in my life that I could see me spending my entire life with. He's wonderful, he's great with kids, smart, cute, we have a wonderful relationship and have known each other forever but yet, have remained friends for the past 6 years. I pray every night for God to help me either shut the door and open a new one or brust this door wide open and let us be honest. Nothing happens. I feel as though I am back in middle school, the timid little girl who had to have her friends chase David around the gym in order to get him to dance with her. He was totally forced lol, of the days of middle school, would not want to go back!
I feel stuck, I want to move to Baltimore, I want to go back to school, I want to get married and have kids. I think I just want to much. Is that possible? Most imporantly I want a wonderful relationship with God (which I work on everyday) and a wonderful boyfriend. I know that it will all fall into place, but for now I am stuck searching...constantly searching and praying. Praying very hard.
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