Dancing

Every girl in the world dreams of one day dancing at her wedding. For me, I always dreamed of dancing of course with my father, but also my grandfathers. God had other plans though.

To me family is extremely important. I love my family very much. To be a 9 year old girl and those both your grandfathers was tradgic for me anyway. Today marks the 13 year annviersary of my Pop-Pop Heisey's death. I know I have spoken of him before, but I feel that I must again.

He was an army man, he served our country during WW2, Korea and Vitnam (sp?). I always looked up to him, he loved us all so very much. He was a jokester and he loved to eat sweets. He called us all "clowns" and I'd like to think that us grandkids where his pride and joy though I never actually heard him say that. He would have done anything for us, and done anything to protect us.

When I lost him, I tried to not cry, I tried to be a "strong little girl" for my Nana. I didn't want her to see me sad. I didn't want to cry in front of my mom. Maybe that's why I cry so much now, I held it in all the time as a kid, though I don't have a good reason for it.

On Friday night, I got a visit from my Pop-Pop. People may call me crazy, but my grandparents to visit me in my sleep occassionally. When I graduated high school, both my Pop-Pop and Grandpa visited me and in my dream with my Grandpa, I asked him, "how do I know you're really my Grandpa" and he licked his fingers and put out a candle on my birthday cake with his hands. I had no memory of him ever doing this and when I woke up the next morning, I asked my dad about it and he said that Grandpa use to do that all the time.

Anyway, in my dream, I was waiting in line to dance with I believe it was my Godfather and the line got cut off right in front of me. I was upset but there was another man standing in front of me with his back turned, he turned around and there standing right in front of me was my Pop-Pop. He asked me if he could dance with me and I cried and said yes. We talked and for a moment, I got to have that dance with my Pop-Pop that I was never able to have in my lifetime.

I asked him many things and we had a great conversation. I remember asking him if I should keep my job and he said "yes". I asked him if I was going to get in trouble and he said "no", not sure what I thought I was getting in trouble for though lol. I told him that I missed him soooooooooo much and loved him sooooooo much and he told me that he missed me and loved me too. I woke up with a smile and felt so peaceful.

Words cannot express how much I miss all my grandparents. I have had a very hard time dealing with this all for the past 13 years. I get so close to people and then they leave me. Through no fault of there own mind you. But still, I end up without them and am left to carry on. I have done my best. It's so nice to occassionally get a visit though. I got to give my Pop-Pop a kiss on the check last night, I felt this scruffiness of his not shaven face, I smelt his mixture of Old Spice and cigarettes. No one can tell me that wasn't my Pop-Pop the dream was too real.

I wish I would have gotten the chance to have the last 13 years with him. We would have been great friends. I am however greatful for the visit. It's the next best thing to having Pop-Pop himself.

Thank you Lord for the years I did have with him, my grandpa and my nana. I truly treasure them all. Thank you for blessing me with these amazing people. Thank you for the time we had together, no matter how short. May they all rest in peace.

Amen